I am a bit of a believer in the universe giving you what you want. Actually it seems almost too good at doing this and can supply what you want a little too literally (an example would be wishing you worked from home then losing your job days/weeks later). If I want something it generally turns up down the line, or a close approximation of my initial desire anyway.
‘The universe’ in this case is a pretty powerful force, not cosmic but mental, my sub-conscious helping me focus on my wish list without my having to worry about it.
I do find while desires are still to be acquired there are those coincidences that crop up that can make me feel external forces are at work guiding me towards my goals, events and occurrences in life that have significance because my imagination makes it so. I love that.
What I am on about in this post is one such coincidence.
Recently my pledge to kerb my drinking for another 9 weeks has been aided by my eyes going wonky, agonising it is too and dehydration can trigger a bout of what is medically known as ‘recurrent corneal erosion‘, a condition one of my eyes is now susceptible too.
Daylight has been difficult to cope with and the pain has made sleep tricky. It’s not been a particularly fun past 5 days, the sort of time you spend feeling like you’ll never get better , life losing some of its colour. Bit blue in all.
Having dry eye can help trigger an episode of this painful eye disorder which can of course be caused by man’s second best friend, booze. Being dehydrated will help aid tearing of my eyes in the morning after a skinful the night before, what with the recent pain I’ve been through am a little reluctant to risk feeling this way again knowingly!
So in a way more motivation has been given to me to really kerb my drinking full stop. An episode of corneal erosion seems to last atleast a week and that’s a week without full eye sight and time off work stuck at home in a darkened room.
The actual eye problem stems from an injury sustained during some innocent boxing sparring , not something I would have sub-consciously aimed to receive so this is one of those coincidences I was referring to. Basically some other condition would have shown up to help slow my drinking eventually through the cruel ageing process anyway, or so I reckon anyways.
Still, eyes are mending and am on my 4th week with no cigarettes and alcohol. It’s all character building and I am really looking forward to fully working non-painful eyes.