I doubt many people live with their ex-girlfriend willingly. I’m certain even fewer of those lucky few have lived with their ex for over 6 years.
Tomorrow there will be more excellent coverage of the Olympics in this fair country’s capital, am going to Atomic Burger for lunch and the day will be the 6th anniversary of me and my flatmates ‘split’. The best split I think we’ve ever had.
To mark this special occasion we are going to abuse our privileged positions and list the 10 things that wind us up about the other (hate is after all such a strong word!). So here’s to my flatmate/mate and ex. Of course it wouldn’t be balanced without her own list on me, view that here.
1) You eat way too slowly! You could make sloths roll their eyes impatiently.
2) Close things! Cupboard doors, lovely coffee packs, cleaning wipes, wrapped meats, shower gels ,the airing cupboard door,etc,etc. No cute furry animals will be harmed by closing things I promise.
3) You back the underdog which is commendable but please please understand that sometimes people can also just be scum. For example not all drug dealers are nice people fallen on hard times struggling to get by.
4) Steamed veg added to more steamed veg is f*cking boring. That veg took ages to grow, treat it with respect , cook it to make it tasty not limp!
5) Small creatures create nests not humans. I can see where you have sat in a day due to the many books and writing pads strewn around your chosen seating area
6) The floor is not additional storage space
7) When not in use turn off the laptop, it won’t mind, think of it needing sleep. Especially turn off the ps3, its the loud whirring sound from the increasingly hot device in the TV display stand.
8) I like apples get used to the crunching!
9) You are hereby banned from using crap from 10 years ago in current arguments.
10) When you peel vegetables don’t put the peelings in the sink, there is no sink fairy, just me having to scoop the mess out and bin it!